Quebec City, Quebec

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She was so torn. Should she go with the dashing but somewhat dim Lord Stanton? Or should she go with the dark and steamy foot man, Ashford? What was in his mysterious past? If only this garden could answer her question. Which way should she turn?

© words and pictures by Dan DeMarle 2017

Perspective

Many times parents and others come in with a seemingly straight forward question. Some basic question about why their child, their life, their family is the way it is.  It is as if they are asking is the glass half full or half empty?  Sometimes that’s the question I answer first, because it is a worthwhile question.   However many times, the least important question is about the glass and about how full or how empty the glass is. IMG_9959 (3).JPGMeaning the question they are asking is not the important question, it is just a symptom of a bigger problem.

Sometimes the glass is literally heating up so hot that it is about to burst or the liquid to boil. Whether it is half full or half empty does not matter as the glass and the liquid are about to be destroyed.

IMG_9960 (2)Sometimes when parents or others ask the glass half full question, the glass itself is so precariously balanced that one slight shift in the liquid will cause the entire glass and its contents to fall and shatter.  The whole assembly is on a high perch and any fall will shatter the glass and spill the liquid. But still the question is – is it half full or half empty? Not recognizing how precarious the situation is, or where the real dangers or real issues lie.

Sometimes the glass is already falling. It just has not hit the ground yet. But still the question is – is it half full or half empty? Not realizing that if steps are not taken, the whole issue is going to end in great pain and sorrow.

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So the next time, you find yourself facing a problem, before you start focusing on the leaves. Ask yourself, should we really be discussing the trees, or should we start with the forest?  Then take that glass with its liquid, add some vermouth, an olive, and a lemon twist, then sit back and enjoy. Ah, see you did it again, you thought the glass had water in it.  At the end the glass will be empty. If your still perplexed, refill, and then repeat.

4/20/17

© words and pictures by Dan DeMarle 2017

Fall leaves

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The gate, even such a flimsy gate, was closed. On one side was my childhood, and on the other my adulthood. Oh to be able to go back and forth at will to travel again those many paths. But the gate was closed, and all that was left was my memories.

© words and picture by Dan DeMarle 2017