Dear angry white person

I understand that you are angry at being told you are just part of a group of white people.  As a white person myself, my former 4-year-old self could relate.  Oh sorry, would you prefer a person of whiteness?  You likely have lived your whole life thinking you had no color, that you were literally without color, after all, you are not black, or brown, but you are certainly tan or get this one, skin-colored, which in American strangely means white. Skin colored, on at least three continents means many different things, but sorry not white.  Oh, sorry, I think you are upset because in America, the land of individuality, you have been grouped into a demographic or worse, a racial group.  Which means, of course, that you have a race.

Your angry response tells me a few things about you.  Now, of course, these are generalities and may not apply to you, but they do to many of the people in our little club of 245,532,000 million white people or 77.7% of the US population as of 2013.  If you are upset at being identified with your racial group, it suggests that you are one of two things. The first a very privileged person whose parents or parent never traveled with you broadly, or if they did, they brought you to places like Idaho (91.% of white) or Iowa (90.6% white), or maybe you grew up in Pittsford, NY, which in the 2000 census was an amazing 92.6% white.  The second is that you went to these places but only looked at your game boy or iPhone screen the whole time, or you are just completely oblivious.  Regardless, the idea being is that chances are you have never been in a situation where you were the clear minority.  Chances are you have never traveled to a majority nonwhite country or continent.  My guess is that you have also never been the only white person or person of whiteness in any social situation, such as a wedding, or a restaurant.  You have never been in that situation and seen another white person, and felt that hey that person is in my tribe, sorry demographic group per the US Census.  You know when you travel abroad and see that other American on the tour bus, and run to greet them and talk about American stuff.  I, of course, pretend to be a Canadian, or just try to hang out with the locals.

I am also assuming that, if you are religious, that you are not a member of a minority religion in the United States. You are not a Sikh, Muslim, or probably even Jewish.  Because if you were, you would likely know what it feels like to be the “other.”  You are also most likely straight, not gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer.  If you were, regardless of your racial group, you would know what it is to again be the “other”. No, most likely you are a straight white man or woman who just has not gotten out much, so you have never been forced to see yourself as part of a group, or as not part of the group, you are currently in.

So that also means that you have for years and probably decades never had to think about or consider all the benefits you have received simply from being a white person in America. For example, you were likely told a white view of American History.  You probably believe that the land you live on was always yours, or it belonged to people like you. That manifest destiny was a good idea because our founders were white so God had given them this land, even though it was already occupied. It’s amazing, just think you are in your house, and someone walks in and says, “this is now mine, because God said so, oh and here are some blankets with the coronavirus on it, to make things go easier.”  You probably are not up on the genocide we white people committed against, and still are attempting to commit against the First peoples (that’s Indians probably to you).  You probably aren’t aware that for over 100 years NY was a slave State and some of your wealth (wealth? yes even if you are dirt poor, you have wealth it seeps from our skins) comes from that history of enslavement. If you live in a house or rent a house, if you look at your deed, you may discover that you live in a house that used to have a restrictive covenant that prohibited the house from being sold to a nonwhite person or gasp a Jew. Which can help explain why there are still no or very few nonwhite people or Jews on your street. It’s not because they don’t want to be your neighbor, really it’s not.

I could go on and on, but my main point here is to actually say congratulations.  You have discovered whiteness. Simply the fact that you are angry about being grouped into that massive group of people we call white, means you have taken your first step.  There are many stages of racial identity awareness, just as there are stages one goes through when they discover they are gay, or whatever.  Unfortunately, likely because of the facts above, you are a white person who never has taken a single step on that wonderful, scary, horrible journey of discovering your racial identity.  As a white person, it is not a pretty process, we literally have our powers because our fellow white people committed genocides and much, much worse things. It’s like a gang came through and beat and tortured people before you arrived in town, and when you show up everyone is so scared and traumatized by what they did, that you get treated like a king or queen and you just assume its because they like you.  So you opened the door, and now the question is, will you scurry back into your house built of straw or begin to take a few steps along the way.  If you do there are so many good guides and books and shows to help you on your way.  Yet, it all starts with a few words, just like in AA, say it with me “Hi, my name is _____ and I am a white person!” Come on you can do it.

© by Dan DeMarle 2/25/2020