This is Frodo! He’s a fire hydrant.  Normally Frodo is quick and responsive when his bestie fire fighters need him.  He rises to attention with no problem.  But Frodo, like all fire hydrants has a problem.  It’s called Snow Erectile Dysfunction or  SED.  When cold covers him up, it takes fire fighters a lot longer to get him up, ready and spraying away.  If he is completely covered, sometimes he can’t even function.  If your house is on fire, those extra minutes can be the difference literally between life or death or losing or saving your house!  So you don’t want your fire hydrant, like Frodo, to suffer from SED.  Luckily there are simple things you can do to help your friend.  NO, no need for fancy medicines, or therapists.  He just needs a little extra care to function well and to keep functioning well.  Just clear off the snow in a large square around him, just like in this picture.  Its that simple, no need for full spectrum lights or a subscription to the fire truck porn video site.  Don’t let you friend suffer from SED.  Do the right thing.  Once you do that, then check to see if any of the other fire hydrants near you house are suffering from SED.  You may need them sometimes as well.  So get out there and keep those hydrants up and erect.

© words and picture by Dan DeMarle 2017